If anyone is going to get into my heart again, I’ve decided there’s no more fucking around. There’s now a list. I don’t think it’s unreasonable.

All candidates MUST:
1. Dance. With me.
2. Read. Like, own more books than dishes read.
3. Tell me I’m pretty.
4. Be excitable.
5. Play with my hair.
6. Be very open-minded.

There will be no exceptions this time.